ThinkEdem Blog

There’s a lot of things I haven’t written about, for several reasons. Mainly, because I’m a lazy bastard and a busy bastard at the same time. …busy playing games.

I took the job in Esztergom. I work in a museum as an “IT leader”. It sounds interesting, and it kinda is. The IT department is small (two of us in the Museum, and 2 more in other branches), but it’s nice. All computers run linux in the museum, so it’s interesting and easy. There would be MUCH more hassle with Windows workstations…

If only the payment… Well, that sucks. I get 78.000Ft after taxes, which is not too much. Also, my parents take 30.000 each month, for repaying my debt and to share in with bills. Also I’ll pay 7.000Ft for the net – fortunately that’s covered by the company as an extra.

Still, I won’t buy that PS2 with Rock Band anytime soon.

Apart from that, I kinda settled with this job. The people in the museum are all nice except for one person, but at least everyone hates that one guy, not just me.

PS2… yeah, I still play games. Only I kinda don’t play Guild Wars anymore. I don’t know why, I know some nice people there, but I just can’t solo it anymore. Now I play wow, and half-life. I still love Guild Wars though, and I do believe it’s better than WoW. Only wow is less annoying to solo.

Let me take this occasion to express my gratitude to Flavia, who sent me some very pretty Guild Wars (and Lineage 2) posters and standees, they are hot and lovely!

I have a lot of ideas what should and could I do. But when it comes to do them, I feel old and tired. My motivators have burnt out.

I caught glimpes of myself, and I didn’t like it. I closed myself in a dark cellar not to see myself. She came with a light. She never made me look better than I was, nor did she make me look worse. She simply brought a light, and in that light I saw myself, without illusions, without self-deceptions. She never made me love myself, but I learned to accept myself as I was. We like people for their merits, but we love them for their flaws.

Now she left… I let herself go. She left a candle of light behind. How long will it shine, I cannot know – but now it is here with me.

Mint sötétet a fény -
úgy leltelek,
mint utazó a megürült padot,
és úgy szeretlek most, ahogy a mély
vizeknek halai az iszapot.

Tenyeremben simogatás lapul
- így bújnak meg házak közt csöpp terek -
Elment a kedves.
Én engedtem el,
mint léggömb zsinegét a kisgyerek.

(Fodor Ákos)